Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Conversations with Dead People

asad: alright mr. Einstein, thank you for meeting with me today. may i call you albi?

einstein: no.

asad: why not, it sounds a lot better than stodgey 'ALBERT RODRIGUEZ EINSTEIN the Fifth'

einstein: thats not really my full name.

asad: ok, i'm sorry i brought it up. is this a sore subject for you?

einstein: yeah, as a schoolboy, the children would tease me and call me albi.... i hated it.

asad: ...

einstein: ...

asad: you wanna talk about it?

einstein: don't we have an interview to do?

asad: ok, so moving right along-- relativity? whats that all about anyway?

einstein: oh man, i stayed up all night writing that one up!

asad: huh? you mean you came up with the entire concept in one night?

einstein: i had to make the presentation in the morning and the clock was really winding down, so i wrote some stuff about time and space, and i think blackholes were in there somewhere. I'm lucky i scored some caffine pills from the prussian kid next door...

asad: so wait, this brilliant concept of space and time was just a project you did the night before it was due?!

einstein: ... come to think of it, those werent really caffine pills after all. caffine isn't supposed to make you trip out like that. aw man, that was some good stuff...

asad: wha- what are you talking bout?

einstein: .... and the walls were flowing like water, you could see that they were going to a better place, but the beats just kept them in check. all like [boom] [boom] [proceeds to beatbox 'big poppa' by biggie smalls]

asad: your supposed to a genius! instead your just some drug-tripping looney.

einstein: a looney with a large stash and lots of cash! [raises hand for high five]

asad: ok, thats it. we're done here. thanks for coming, but this interview is over. [asad leaves]

einstein: [slowly lowers hand].... [continues beatbox 'big poppa']


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