Tuesday, August 08, 2006

conversations which institutions of higher learning

me: thanks for meeting with me.

University of Maryland: um, i thought it best. you just kept calling.

me: why won't you return my phone calls!

UMD: listen, its over- you're done with me and i'm done with you.

me: how can you say that?! remember all the good times.. remember...the.. um.. the memories?!

UMD: Yeah, we had some good times, but I think its best that we both move on. we're no good for eachother.

me: Baby, is it me? I can change! I'll take you more seriously. We'll go out to the opera more. Just you and me, it'll be different!

UMD: look, its just too little too late. i'm sorry, i didn't want to have to tell you this, but i have a new incoming class of students...

me: YOU'RE sorry, YOU'RE SORRY!! what about me?! You know how much money I spent on YOU! That tuition hike you pulled, what the hell was that! and now I hear you're parading around with some one else!!

UMD: I never asked for any favors! And its not 'JUST' someone else, its approximately 6,000 incoming students.

me: B*tch, you took all my money! And don't think i'm giving back all your shirts- you hear me- they're mine now!

UMD: thats fine, I just want you to be happy.

[UMD slowly gets up & walks out the door]

me: oh baby, i didn't mean what I said! take me back please!!

(wonder years narrator): i don't know if it was the fact that she never looked back when she left the room, or that i thought she would at any moment that hurt more. it was one of those days that both UMD & I would always remember... we were no longer kids hanging over the beltway. i wonder if she will think of me when she gets ready for class, and doesn't smell my poptarts in the toaster or see my cup of tea sitting on her bedstand table.


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