Friday, July 28, 2006

whatever i'm doing- i need to stop

post-apocolypic view of the future or junk food enduced dream-- ten dollars for the man who chose the latter... but wait, don't close the window just yet, it ties into real life!

there are few places I could say I frequent, but one of those places is the bean hollow- the coffee shop in old ec. and thats where it starts. long story 'somewhat-less-long', there are ZOMBIES in EC! so now theres a hotel down the street where me and a plucky band of zombie-killing enthusiasts make our stand. we made a valiant stand against the undead, until they figured out how to open garage doors... and then we all got eaten. it was quite rough and for some reason really graphic! i gotta stop watching those movies...

but now for the REAL world application-- Zombies Charged with WMDs. "We have incontroveritible proof of these Zombies possessing WMDs"- President Bush. No, thats not a real quote, but here's what these undead enthusiasts did-- ZOMBIE dance party in the middle of the streets of Minneapolis. YES- least sexy type of dance party- but still HellaAwesome!

A couple of them had backpacks with wires sticking out of them, which made police nervous. but, maybe this is why i'm not a police officer-- why would you assume WMDs instead of just a plain ol bomb. OR has the definition of a weapon of mass destruction been drastically loosened to include STEREO equipment in backpacks- carried by ZOMBIES.

police #1: h-hey jim, whats that over there... it looks kindof like-

police #2: oh dear god steve, I told you we should be prepared for this, I f*n TOLD you!!

police #1: looks like... ZOMBIES!

police #2: OK, ok, I know what to do, lemme get my Zombie-Response Kit...

police #1: jesus Jim, I knew you had this fear, but a KIT?!

police #2: just be glad your sitting shotgun with me, kid! Lets roll.

police #1: oh wait! haha, its just a bunch of kids having a dance party! Hah!

police #2: but, b-but, I got out the Kit, THE KIT! aw man.

police #1: sorry Jim, maybe next time it'll be real.

police #2: screw that! look, those kids have WMDs, lets GET em.

police #1: ummm, no they don't....

police #2: do NOT make me use the Z.R.K. on you steve, so help me god, do NOT MAKE me USE IT!

police #1: ok, ok, yeah, WMDs- lots of em. lets book em. [sirens]

Thursday, July 27, 2006

The Fuck Europe Tour 2k6.... part III

--------Act VII- So this is Kabul------------
fk the west coast

this is the courtyard for our hostel

the barcelona underground < onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="">

so we took our own tour of the city, saw this building, maybe designed by pablo picaso- reminds me of some building in Myst.

one thing about being camera-man, u dont get to be in any of the cool pics.

walking through barcelona

rembrant was a goofy looking guy

nick looks like rembrant

ergo, nick is a goofy looking guy

we got cursed by a very sneaky ol gypsy woman-- but we did get jelato, so it all evens out.

and then we roamed the city.

and there was a museum up on a hill- and it was deceptively far away. so as we made our way towards it, we took a ridiculous number of pictures with it.

there was this little kid playing soccer with his dad- we wanted to kidnap him and put him on the brinsleys.

a particularly stoeic picture of myself on the outdoor escalator... unfortunately, the escalator ended right after we took this pic and I nearly killed myself.

its like a frigg'n optical allusion, you think your getting closer to it, but its still way the hell in the distance.

i don't know how many people are aware of this, but nick bought some interesting stuff in the futbol club barcelona store... [shudders]

i'll tell ya, at this point in the trip everyone was acting like bbff4ever

except for nick & abby....

finally we made it to the top, where the museum was. to get into the museum cost money, so we loitered outside until sunset.

at which point the vampires came out, so we had to leave... post haste

man we had a small room! tensions were tested, friendships were on the line... nick and imm fought...

but they made up in the end.

i thought i could beat abby in a game of 'kick abby off the bed'

which proved not so easy

i then i dont really remember what happened....

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

fine example of marketing or disasterous attempt to combat employee dissatisfacton

this is the latest view of the discovery channel main offices.

i can just imagine a conversation that would occur once they decided upon the shark accoutrements to adorn the building if I worked there... I wonder if they made it a suprize to their employees until one day-- BAM-- shark head!

Boss: So, have you looked out your window yet???

Me: yeaaah... thats what I wanted to talk to you about....

Boss: Yeah, pretty friggin cool, huh! Its like the building IS a giant shark-- this is going to be great. I bet national geographic's building isnt as AWESOME as ours!

Me: umm, yeah, awesome. but its kindof blocking the windows of the entire department... do you really think thats fair?

Boss: Fair?! This is a fabulous opportunity. Sure, ur department won't see the sun for the next couple months while at work, but wait... I just thought of a proposition for you, just right now off the top of my head... and offer YOU CANT refuse!

I want you to work... INSIDE the SHARK HEAD!

Me: umm, whaat?

Boss: Think of it-- you'll be working FROM inside the SHARK HEAD! Its crazy, it boggles the MIND!

Me: I don't want to work in the shark head... i don't even think its meant to hold people safely.

Boss: Oh come'on, WHO doesn't want to work out of a shark head! You can tell your wife that your COMMUTTING into a shark's head-- she'll totally flip!!
You not working from the boring office, your working from the freakin Shark Head!!

Me: If you think its so nice, why don't u work out of the sharks head?

Boss: Oh, woah-- get a hold of your senses... my office is Not the one being blocked by the giant shark head. Now, get ur desk ready-- by mid afternoon I wanna see those project proposal post-marked from 'the shark's head'

Me: the sharks head has its own stationary?

Boss: No, but I kindof assumed you would... you know... act the part...

Me: What part?

Boss: The part of a man working from a sharks head! You know, change your email to something like '', that sorta thing.

Me: oh dear god, i'm leaving.

Boss: don't forget to change your business cards!!

Sunday, July 16, 2006

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Thursday, July 06, 2006

Camping 2k6

this years etch was courtesy of dano.

"Its like a party in the woods"

it rained the first day in. so we escaped to the pavillion. poncho's were made. attempts were mocked.

cabin fever ensued. avi and john were climbing up the walls.

me and nick duelled

"great, john's drunk and in the rafters again..."

let me tell you about my friends... they made up a drinking game where you slap your neighbor as hard as you got slapped by the person next to you. either way, the game ends when everyone is made and has a headache.

addy pwned mg.

cut to the next day-- the rain stopped. woo!

good china has the need for guns!

thats john waving a 357 magnum at his face...

after a day at the falls, the general malase sets in. as you can tell, i didnt take the camera for the Swallow Falls trip, so no pics from that wackiness.

also, i think i missed a day of photos. but thats ok. thats the day we went to the lake with canoe's, people's boats got tipped, enemies were made... vengence was sworn (by dano, mainly)
also, we had a nice dinner at the hess cabin, followed up by a trip to the arcade/ mini golf. yes, this is how we camp.

by the 3rd night, fatigue was setting in hard, as EVERYBODY was falling asleep around the campfire before midnight.

thats my BDAY CAKE. my friends are pretty awes0me. and they know if i didnt get cake that night, i would torch tentropolis to a cinder. i ate about half that cake in one sitting. i have a problem....

let me tell you MORE about my friends.... they like to burn money.

burned those dollars good... idiots.

the last day... it rained a lot. ben and ashleigh ran away; ie. they left in the morning before the rain really started.

so we left for the pavillion to get cleaned up and have our breakfast of cookies and donuts.

we had lunch at the hut. the pizza hut.

he's lost in thought.

destroying tentropolis...

avi had the weirdest looking tent, but also the one which everybody secretly wanted to have.

we all look fairly mad.

the CAST of Characters:

"John's threatening me again!"

the only thing funny about nick at 5 am is when he sings "ALL NIGHT all night ALL NIGHT all night EVERY NIGHT everynight!"

"i'm an onion"

"the only useful member of good china"

"i never did finish that soccer goal made of wood"

definately about to tackle that tree.

"i had sex with a miner and all i got was this stupid photo op"

one of the NEWbies of c-2k6.

she definately hung onto that sword all weekend.

if you think she looks sad there, you should see the pic with her and jon ass in the background.

"who brings kahkis camping?!"

oh man, remember when addy ATTACKED everyone around the campfire with a handful of cheetos. oh god, i can still hear the screams muffled by the sound of cheetos mashed up against faces.

the camping 2k6 crew... see you later idiots.