Friday, April 28, 2006

dangerously inquisitive, remarkably unconcerned

So like most fridays at the office, I have a chance to peruse through the morning headlines when i saw a relatively boring headline describing about Iran's president having one of his rare press conferences to the public. for some reason i clicked on it, maybe under the assumption that it really said the King of Jordan- in which case i would click on that headline in the hope to see his gorgeous wife, Queen Rania.

But alas, it was Iran. Anyways, heres the photo that accompanied the dull news story:

if you look closely, you may ask yourself-- WHAT THE CRAP is GOING ON in IRAN?!

No really?? What is going on in this picture?! Cause i'm pretty damn sure this was ACTUALLY how the press conference looked... You'd think the caption to the picture would shed some light as to whats going on:

Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmedinejad spoke at a rare news briefing with Iranian and foreign reporters in Tehran that was broadcast live with simultaneous translation.

i would've said something along the lines of : Iranian President's attempt to reach the Wizard of Oz's palace thwarted by giant killer doves and a sea of midgets armed with Iranian flags of various sizes (the flags are various sizes, the midgets are pretty much uniform in height).

[on an even more random note, i still dont have my own signature sign off, something i can say at the end of the blog to make me sound sophisticated, slightly pompus, but delightfully humorous. yeah, the only thing i have so far is phrase vaguely reminiscient of a stuttering pig]

thats all,

[WIBBA WAB WAM WOO] nope, thats not gonna work at all

confusion of philosophy yields big wins

so i'm writing a philosophy paper, but hell if i really know what 'm talking about... while on my search for knowledge:

i actually won a movieticket- take that everybody! so thus to share the wealth, i put a little link on the side...

i wonder which movie i should see- prolly x-men 3 whenever it comes out. and if it sucks, i can curse this stupid blingo.

Friday, April 21, 2006

the post that will no doubt get the shanshu shut down

quick note before i start the days rant, but i've noticed how my posts are becoming quite polar, it the sense that they either are of some political or new subject, or simply make no damn sense... theres no middle ground anymore. and for that, i blame the readers. yes.

so my co-worker at the office practices Falun Gong, which she describes as mediation and exercises that cleanse the mind and body. The Chinese government describes the Falun Gong as a dangerous religious movement. lemme tell you one thing, I wouldn't believe the chinese government even if they said eating rocks was bad for ur teeth, despite the fact i already know that to be true.

Which brings me to the current events portion, where China's president, Hu, was "heckled" by a protestor during Bush and Hu's meeting in Washington. Apparently my co-worker is friends with her! Cool. The friend of a friend harassed an international leader.

Trying to read the new up on this news, ALL the news sites called this disruption a "HECKLER". isn't that term mainly reserved for Comedians... I mean, it could just be a passive aggressive way of saying Bush and Hu as just funny-men whose only purpose is for the public to laugh at... BUT on EVERY news site. I wonder if Hu got any grief about his government being all-up-after Jack Bauer.

Either way, after a lengthy discussion at work, I feel like I am knee deep in a chinese conspiracy against the falun gong. i cannot divulge the information i know or else i'll disappear quicker than a arab tying his shoelace at an airport. but if u wanna feel like an investigator, look up on google: [china falun gong camps] .
Is it propoganda or an anti-communist movement? frankly, i'd agree with any anti-commi movemet, even if they believe in fairy's and used paperclips as currency.

'To each his own', right-- except for the commis, where 'to each is all that belongs to the united community for the good of the proletariat.'

next weeks post & poll: "where did asad go?" poll options: (a.) ran off to tahiti (b.) abducted by the chinese (c.) lost on campus somewhere

thats all,

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

sensitive issues, insensitive responses

alien bill clinton during the 2000 elections...

alien bill clinton: abortions for all!
crowd: boooo!
abc: abortions for none!
crowd: boooo!
abc: abortions for some, tiny american flags for others!
crowd: yaaay!!! (waves tiny american flags)

Friday, April 14, 2006

one sentence movie reviews

thought i would give my take on some of the more recent hits that i haven't seen...

good night & good luck - the sequel will be a silent film (*)

brokeback mountain - i liked it the first time when it was called city slickers (**)

capote- prolly could have used a wacky sidekick for truman, perhaps daemon wayans(***)

* you see, it was in black in white to get the atmosphere and feel of the 1950's, so why not travel even further back in history to the 1920's.

** what do you mean the guys in city slickers weren't gay? what about Curly? Oh for the love of pete... You mean Curly's Gold was ACTUAL gold? weird.

*** even though i've seen it, i will never admit to it... dammit.

short posts are in style, thats all.

of harmonies & discourses

usually i like to have some overall theme to the blog post, but today seems like a more disjointed sorta post:

while perusing through, i stumbled upon Tucker Carlson's page (he's the dude who always wears the bow tie, consequentially also the guy that you wanna shove in a locker or something). His page is hilariously idiotic. In one of his posts he tackles the topic of illegal immigrants by saying that americans should illegally enter Mexico, and pretty much "see how they like it." seems to me that you would just have a very messed up cultural exchange program, kindof like that wife-swap show. is sleeping with the new wife part of the show also?

also, you know he has balls when he has headlines such as 'Illegal immigrants flooding New Orleans ' dated two months ago. poor taste tucker, too soon. even i haven't done any katrina jokes.... atleast i hope i haven't?

the post that hit me most was the story of Tucker being outraged that Peacekeepers recently rescued from Baghdad had the audacity to critize the US government once they came back. Insurgents took the hostage about 100 some days.
yeah Tucker, where do those peacekeepers get the nerve to badmouth those people who CREATED the environment for those insurgents in the firstplace. Thats equivalent to the fire department SETTING your house on fire, and then proceeding to charge into the flames to rescue you.

fireman: so, what the hell, aren't u gonna say thanks?!
fireman: yes, yes we did.
me: and?!
fireman: and then we saved you!
fireman2: dude, we totally saved you!
me: i hate u all.

on a completely different last note- nothing more amusing than on the metro to work, sitting between two people reading the washington post and the journal. and me with my x-men comic book. suits and children's reading= an awesome combination. oh cyclops, wolverine's gonna kill you any day now....

thats all,